t evening  too bad, I suppose. I  of a c of e so-so seafood in a tourist trap on t, and t complain about just about everytransported by e  seemed co spoil it.

    Maureen  a fe aer Id come out of prison, to Majorca. e stayed in a private villa outside Deya, and I t it o be t fe t of course it  like t at all; to describe prison as t t ten seconds. It sounds logical, and neat; it sounds trut its not, because t time is after your ed, and t t  begun. I appreciate t talking about a mini-break on a perfectly pleasant Mediterranean island, but it  I realized t t errifying, mind-numbing, savagely destructive of t troying can no longer convey. Do you knoil my first nigions at eacred around icipants o see done to unpopular and /or celebrated ne of a quizzie on my first nig boto list even tive suggestions, but suffice to say t I didnt sleep very  nig for t time in my life I ensely violent fantasies of revenge. I focused everyt day broug an over last very long.

    Criminals serve time, but  to my friends in B ing, I  a criminal, not really; I elevision presenter  t I ime. It  t in pretending it . You see, tes ually return to tever t errupted; prison o be no impediment, eits and social standing enhanced.

    But you dont return to the middle class when youve been banged up.

    Its over, and youre out. You dont go and see time tV and tell o reclaim your seat behe Rise and Shine desk.

    You dont knock on your friends doors and tell t youre once again available for dinner parties. You neednt even botelling your ex- to see your kids again. I doubt ed to deny o  ood in ttering t t  . I  long and  turned into somet of penal reform: I o t no one  to jail, because t  o see a t, or give some money to cy, or something.

    t  time I fully apprerouble I rouble I  tion company and imes, offered us both work.

    e ran into t in a local bar, and tended t knoer, took Penny aside in t and explained t t teenage daugicularly unprepossessing fourteen-year-old ly frank, is unlikely to lose y for a good many years to come, and certainly not to me. It y to er t my proximity to   Ive been cast out of ton, doomed to roam the offices of crap cable companies for evermore.

    So t first nigenerife just made me gloomy. t my people. t people o me because I , but it  to be in - an unseatle boat, and I could suddenly see t it o break up and sink.

    It  made for pootling around ts Park, and tempting to sail to fucking tenerife in it. Youd o be an idiot to t o stay afloat for much longer.

    I dont t day . I take some of t , dont you? And I ted. Because my dad is Ne,  tolerance for people of different cultures, and I t  some people, in otin,  tolerant of my culture, ure ture. I like to t Im respectful of  tell   pissed up and fucked up on drugs and pick up more girls. So ful of mine.  tell me to eat pork if I  to do tuff?

    t and last Beatles albums.

    ts notyles c o do anyt t sick of t of eac ted different ted to be in a bag or ed to be on ever, and its o see ions, and one of you is in a bag.

    OK,   in t place, o t  to go on. e  all even from try. So in a s no  our seven years got condensed into about three weeks.

    toget e il to meet up in tel bar, ail and find some. And t for a sel pool co go out on my own.

    e aying on to de la Cruz,  probably too mental for Maureen, and as it o be  mind too muc to buy some blo ing myself into trouble t Martin ful of.

    I  into a couple of bars looking for t sell spliff, and in tly like Jen.

    Im not exaggerating;  recognize me, I t s, until I noticed t  quite big enouged to disguise  like me staring at o unately understood t of took it on from ter  it for a rut Id already  ill quite early, and I t take up my offer of a fight.

    And tuff jens brot going to do any of it until later, ended up doing most of it straigo freak on my oo tel in a police car. I dont t anyone from Nant it ty typical nig. I told t Maureen and Martin s, and Martin  happy.

    I dont to c of our el, t would have all blown over.

    I felt terrible t morning, mostly because Id gone to bed  anyto eat, alt  looo. I  terrible feeling you get uck  it. I mean, you can make cers up, like I did  gives you some time off. But its impossible to keep it going for long, and to being sick outside some dodgy club and offering to figo be like t truts o t doesnt involve being sick outside a dodgy club, I cant manage it; I picture not all. ton, talk about you.

    I once asked Dad ics, and ics, and   cats are supposed to be able to find a   of t world, hed do.

    tle sad  ion.

    And ts me: I suffer from a failure of imagination. I could do ed, every day of my life, and  to do, apparently, is to get  of my s. telling me I can do anyt is like pulling t of telling ter it can go anys. try it, and see w happens.

    JJ   I  first day. In tser by ts one fucking cool book. And trutter is, I t it  time to jump-start my libido, rating no out book some dude e o flicker it every time o t letter of t. true story. Any even ten t book. But sitting by ts, s of me t ime, in all to be frozen, t unmistakable signs of life.

    It  like I  out  it. I just t Id go for a  back in touc side of life. I  back to to get dressed first, t a bare-ced kind of guy. Im like a y pounds, skinny as fuck,   to guys an and six-pack ext, rigo Dolly Parton and t of   sound good. In fact, you  even be able to fucking ting on my faded black jeans and my old Drive-By truckers t-s was my way of being  people.

    And get t only did I get  I got  are t remember us real clearly, and I kind of o tell , you knoill.  -er pool in toist, and I stopped for a beer and a sandting by  table, and so, so I told  too, and arted to talk about it, and I scooted over to able. And tarted talking about music, because Bel Canto is kind of about music - opera, anyed a  tour, in Mancer, en to see t  I  a period in my life .

    e ended up spending ternoon toget toget t toget my el, because se at   time Id gotten any since t nigh Lizzie, which was more like necrophilia anyway.

    Kat toget morning, and not only because tel didnt ars for room service: I o bumping into t Id get some props - OK, maybe not from Maureen, but from Martin, certainly, because  an eye for a pretty girl. I even some it into my  Jess y jokes, and Id feel cool again.

    Maureen  doo o be friendly, but terpreted as an invitation, and s do our table. S Kathy suspiciously.

    Is someone not coming do? S being rude.

    S confused.

    No, see… But t knoo say.

    Im Kathy, who was also confused. Im a friend of JJs.

    trouble is, t really room for five on table, said Maureen.

    If everyone else shy and I will move, I said.

    ;everyone elsequot;? Kathy asked, I guess reasonably.

    Martin and Jess, said Maureen. But Jess got broug nig be having a lie-in.

    Oed to kno  to know righen.

    hy.

    sress came over and poured us some coffee, and Maureen  to t table for s.

    Kat me. Sions, I could tell.

    Maureen is… But t to finisence.

    I didnt o find a  down.

    Fuck me, s roduction. I feel so s.

    Normally Id t make me feel better. But I puked my w nig.

    Im Kathy.

    ate I didnt even realize I dont know you.

    Im a friend of JJs, said Kat up ominously.

    sort of friend? e just met yesterday.

    And youre  toget up, Jess.

    s o say.

    am I going to say? I have no idea.

    our mum and dad yet, Kato Maureen.

    Youre braver t bring a one-nigand doo t table. ts fucking modern, man.

    ts your motrying to be real casual, but I could tell stle.

    Of course its not my mot even tionality. Jess is being...

    Did ell you  s t a girlfriend. e keep telling  to try t one, because people al in ted. Ill bet ? Kat me.

    ts a laugh. Sing for her, JJ. You should hear him. Fucking hell.

    Kat as soon as Id said it, I remembered t Id told Kat quite turned to look at me, and I could tell shing. Oh, man.

    Maureen and s sat do table.

    are o do if Martin comes doheres no room.

    O panic, Ispose.

    Maybe I sood up and gulped some coffee down.